May 23, 2022
Coral Castle

It’s quite fun this, isn’t it? It reminds me of that one, glorious day back in high school where by some cosmic event led to the two most prolific assholes deciding to pick a fight. With each other. We, the universally bespectacled, long term suffers and more ordinarily targeted watched on with gleeful apprehension, hoping against hope that maybe, just maybe they’ll end up killing each other. Two halves of an awful equation miraculous and permanently erased, heralding in new era of fraternity, of blissful childhood discovery on the slow and winding grind to graduation.

Of course, it never ends the way you want. The notorious two engaged in a brief scuffle, later combining their 3 brain cells are realising that they’d be better teamed up. They could finally rule the school in epic T-Bird fashion. It never ends well for the little guy. Sadly, it seems this is the inevitable conclusion of the ongoing spat between one hit wonder Epic Games and professional extortionists Google and Apple (let’s call them “Goople” from here on in, just because I can). Don’t believe for a second that Epic care about the little guy. This is about money, plain and simple.

Another Fighter Enters the Arena

But Imagine for a moment, that this detestable diatribe could have a different ending. Imagine, if you will that mid-scuffle, the little kid from the back of the classroom nonchalantly saunters over to the two bullies, casually picks up a chair and proceeds to batter seven shades of the proverbial out of one assailant or another. In more ways than one, this is exactly what Coral Castle Inc has done to Epic, swinging low to sucker punch the Fortnight frontmen just when their PR machine looked ready to claim victory. Get in there my son. But, who on earth is Coral Castle Inc?

Who on earth are Coral Castle inc?

Coral Castle is a tourist attraction in Miami-Dade County, Florida. America being bereft of any cultural relevance or historically interesting architecture, original Florida Man Edward Leedskalnin took it unto himself to began working on this surreal tribute to Stonehenge in 1920. He continued unabated until his death in 1951. Subsequently listed on the National Register of Historic Places (itself founded in 1966, lol), this modern monstrosity became quite the hit with the local intelligentsia, sporting marginally more intellectual appeal than, say, Disney World.

The real Coral Castle, in Miami-Dade County, Florida

So why pick a fight with Epic? Well, as it transpires that as part of the new season of Fortnite, launched in 2020 Epic introduced a number of new locations to its ever expanding map. One such area was, you guessed it, Coral Castle. This new area is pretty much just a beach with a few stone structures and castles. But this proved the catalyst provoking Coral Castle Inc., proprietors of the historic site IRL, to file for copyright infringement. Coral Castle filed suit in the United States District Court for the Southern District of Califorina, Miami Division. Aside from copyright, the suit claims 5 other breaches of US state law. Go team Coral!

Copyright, or Copywrong?

Sadly, this is not the first time someone has claimed copyright infringement in a video game. History has taught us that this tact is often left wanting. A notable, (and much enjoyed) attempt was made by Lindsay Lohan taking on master of lampoon Rockstar for her alleged depiction in GTA 5 as a notable antagonist sharing an equal panache for fame and, err, anal sex. Joyously, her action failed miserably, much to everyone’s delight. But it should be noted that in the ruling, the 6 US judges deemed that the featured “actress slash singer” simply resembled any young fame-hungry anal whore, and not specifically Lindsay Lohan.

The Ingame ‘Coral Castle’, in Epic’s Fortnite

Perhaps it is in this ruling that Coral Castle inc. can garner some hope. Their claim is that the location inclusion within Fortnite is a specific infringement of Coral Castle’ unique appeal. Unlike in GTA 5, Epic are not disputing this, as the virtual landmark holds the same name as its IRL counterpart. But whether or not their claim is successful, the timing of this swipe at Epic is absolutely perfect. Epic must fight the claim, and that takes energy, and focus; two things resolved exclusively for the unfolding, clearly choreographed fisticuffs with Goople. Any distraction mid-manoeuvre could be disastrous. An untimely cough as the final card is placed could see the entire house crumble. We can but hope.

Sources; BBC, GaminonPhone

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